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How to become your family's transitional character

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How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Cesar on Sat Jul 19, 2014 9:46 am

how to

I have been for many years now.
By doing all I can to be a better father and husband and a good role model for my boys.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Rix on Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:28 pm

Cesar, I respect and look up to you so much uno, you have such strong family values. My main goal in life is to have a family and do everything I can for them. My parents are the best parents ever and I aim to be just as good as them. Done so much for me. But my girlfriend comes from a family of divorce and she swears it "stops with her".
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Cesar on Sat Jul 19, 2014 2:56 pm

thanks Rix.
My wife and I come from intact families which as per post, is that much easier and helps with having an intact marriage.
Further, it notes that as long as there is one partner from an intact family it is helpful to keep marriage together as well.
The main idea i got from the article was that for change to occur, one must become change - a transitional character - telling yourself that "it stops with me."
thanks again.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Dave on Sat Jul 19, 2014 9:17 pm

Or "it starts with me". What do you want to build in your family history?

And yes Cesar, thanks for posting. Great article!
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by CheesedogTheFirst on Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:44 am

Good article!

Art of Manliness has tons of good information, I hit it up every once and a while.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Cesar on Wed Aug 13, 2014 12:01 pm

I am not really sure, Dave.
Education is key. I believe that I am the first in a long while in my core family with a masters degree. My father did not teach me to build or fix things. I am trying to do that and teach my boys what I can. I am not too confident on my abilities which leads me to avoid these situations. I wants to learn more and teach them more so that they can do it themselved.
I was raised with a heavy hand. Antoinette and I have decided that is not how we are going to raise our children. We are trying really hard not to be punitive with them and go to punishments. It is very difficult. It is a work in progress.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by squatty on Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:19 pm

I recently married,
We plan to build a robust family,
We plan to move to west, so our future offsprings don't undergo the problems that we went through.
I want to train my offsprings with bodyweight exercises from childhood, and later when they become teenagers, I will introduce them to lifting.
I will also send them to a good wrestling club.
Even if they be girls.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Journeyman on Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:22 pm

Squatty:

\m/ >__< \m/
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by squatty on Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:25 pm

What do you mean Jman?
I don't get the emoticon you posted.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by squatty on Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:42 pm

My wife's family are very thickly built and robust,
My father-in-law is also a brute wrestler,
Very thick bones as well, his wrists are exactly double of mine.
But they're shorter than my family.
We plan to have kids after seven years.
I hope our kids become a good combination of my height and lengthy limbs combined with my wife's family thickness.
A possible disaster would be a combination of my wimpy limbs and their short height  XD 
I am very happy that my wife is from my own tribe.
That was a very hard task to find a good wife from my own tribe in Iran.
She and her family accepted me while they fully were acknowledged of my current financial situation, and they support me until I graduate.
It's been 8 months since we married and we are a really happy couple.
At first I was a little nervous and afraid of what I did, I was in shock and constantly told myself wow Sergey what just did you done???
But it wasn't at all scary like I presumed.
And later I realized I made the right decision.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Cesar on Wed Aug 13, 2014 3:18 pm

Journeyman wrote:Squatty:

\m/ >__<  \m/

that means ROCK ON! that he likes what you said and agrees.

Congrats on getting married. Yes it is a little uneasy at first because you have to learn to cohabitate with someone else. You have to allow your mind to switch from "me" to "we." I never lived with anyone else prior to getting married with the exception of peers in my college dorms.
I believe that dating is like a dance actually more like a masquarade. Both parties involved put on faces (masks) of how they would like to be perceived by the other in efforts to have the other like them for the mask and not for who or what they really are. Then after several months or even years, once all guards/walls are lowered then one may take of the mask and then both begin to learn about the other "real self." My wife and I dated for about a year, then were engaged for about 22 months and have been married for the last 8 years. It is definitely nerve wrecking at first. the first year is always the most difficult one as you are beginning to get to know each others' nuances and once you learn to accept them and fall in love all over again then you will be truly happy.
BTW, I am glad that her family has accepted you as you are. there is a saying that states that when you marry one, you marry their family. I truly believe this. I have been accepted with open arms by my inlaws - Sicilian they are. I have recently been able to give my father in law hugs and kisses on the cheek like the tradition is. from the beginning, he always extended his hand but never his cheek. Now I am truly part of the family.

Good luck with married life. It is a roller coaster ride, which you want to keep getting in line to take over and over.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Dave on Wed Aug 13, 2014 4:51 pm

Congratulations squatty! You have a training partner waiting in the west whenever you get here!
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Iliander on Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:09 pm

you are married? congrats brother that is great.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Brahma Bill on Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:49 pm

Congratulations!
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by CheesedogTheFirst on Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:48 am

Congratulations Squatty, that's great news! All the best to you and your family.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by Bissen on Mon Aug 18, 2014 5:08 am

I work on becoming more tolerant and open than my parents. Struggling to really find my own identity, I have found spots/topics where my parents are not supportive, and these are view points I'd like to expand.

In support of individuality, happiness, goals, aims and dreams rather than "normal" and "contentment"; leaving much of the practicality behind, at least as the main driving force.
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Re: How to become your family's transitional character

Post by itlives on Mon Aug 18, 2014 6:48 pm

No matter how much time goes by, always treat her like you did when you were courting her.

If there were more courting in marriage, there would less marriages in court.

Cesar, I think you are doing great. I watch you guys on FB . You seem very happy.
Remember though, you are the parents and not your childrens friend. Always maintain the alpha role (with love).
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